xantissa: (sam knife)
[personal profile] xantissa
Title: Bleeding Skies: Care
Characters: Zack, Sephiroth, Cloud.
Rating: PG-13
Summary: After Angeal’s death Zack needs comfort, but that is not something Sephiroth was trained to give.
Fandom: Final Fantasy 7: Advent Children
Word count: 1100
Warnings: implied male/male relationship.
Disclaimer: The characters are not mine, not making any profit here.
24-06-2009
full archive here

Care

Zack watched the broad, stiff back as Sephiroth marched out of the room, obviously tired of Zack and his neediness. He tried, really hard, not to feel hurt, but it was useless. His heart was already ripped to shreds after Angeal’s betrayal. He was hurting, confused, in need of comfort.

Comfort that Sephiroth could not, would not give.

Most of the time Zack was more than aware that certain things just didn’t matter the same way to Sephiroth as they did to Zack. Simple social, emotional behaviors that Zack took for granted, were simply a learned ritual for the Silver General. He recognized them, understood on a logical level, but it didn’t really mean anything to him.

The man has never been offered any comfort, simply because he was taught that admitting any kind of emotional weakness was unacceptable.

He could not give what he’d never had.

That was why Zack never told him just how much he loved the silver haired man. For Sephiroth those words would mean nothing. The older man wasn’t cold or cruel on purpose, but few months of relationship couldn’t change almost two decades of heavy conditioning.

Zack knew all that, understood all that, but he was hurting, confused and so damn angry right now. He needed something, anything other than this cool aloofness!

Gritting his teeth and swallowing the tears that never came, Zack made his way towards the gym. Maybe he could lose himself in the mindlessness of repetition there. Maybe he could forget the way it felt to kill the closest person to a father he’d ever had.

*

Being summoned by aide to the General’s office wasn’t something Zack expected that day. Facing his lover so cold and still, so damn unmoved even though his best, oldest friend just betrayed him, was also something Zack hadn’t expected.

Still, it was nothing compared to the horrid betrayal that cursed through him when Sephiroth handed him his orders. He was to leave for an extended mission, immediately, his orders were waiting for him in the garage and the bike was already prepped. He bit his tongue so hard that he could taste blood in his mouth for hours afterwards.

He was not in any shape to fight, too broken up, too fucking hurt to do anything other than eat, sleep, fuck off to train. And now Sephiroth, his own damn lover, was dismissing him like an ordinary trooper.

He clenched his jaw, fixed his eyes front and center and made damn sure he didn’t say anything that would earn him court martial.

He didn’t even remember how he packed or making his way down to the garage, the anger and hurt fogging his mind.

Betrayed.

How could Seph do this to him? So he was irrational, so he was angry and scared and hurt, acting more clingy and needy than ever before… so what? Wasn’t he entitled to weakness of his own? When Sephiroth came back from his annual check-up with Hojo so pumped up on drugs he fucking broke Zack’s ribs while fucking him into unconsciousness Zack didn’t just throw him out and shove him out of sight. He never expected Seph to get rid of their problems like this. Just fucking sending him on a mission when he couldn’t focus enough to fucking remember to eat!

He slammed his fist into the garage, the envelope containing his orders clenched so tightly in it was a step away from becoming dust. He could not fucking believe it. After all the things they went through, after all the things Zack suffered and did for the bastard, this was the thanks he got.

Nothing.

Sent fucking out of sight, out of mind.

Growling in frustrated rage he pushed away the hapless mechanic doing a checkup on his bike and mounted it, revving the engine until its roar deafened him.

Just as he was going to slam the machine into gear and tear out of the garage, a familiar voice stopped him.

“Zack! Zack wait! Sorry I’m late but I had to clear it with my instructor first! Wait up, man!”

Surprised out of his anger Zack looked back at Cloud, the young infantryman he took under his wings a few weeks back. Probably his best friend right now.

Cloud panted a little under the weight of his ridiculously overstuffed backpack.

“I can’t believe you managed to get me on this mission!” Gushed Cloud flushed with something more than simple exertion. “Golden chocobos! I always wanted to see one and now I’m going to be riding one! It’s going to be so much fun…”

Chocobos?

In a kind of numb shock Zack unclenched his hand from around the mistreated envelope and actually read his orders.

He was supposed to transport two very valuable and promising gold chocobos from the farm to one of Shinra training facilities.

It wasn’t a mission, it wasn’t even an assignment. It was fucking vacation.

He looked up at the blond still talking animatedly as he tried to secure the overstuffed backpack to the baggage compartment.

Cloud was Infantry.

Infantry had nothing to do with Chocobos whatsoever.

It meant someone had to specifically assign Cloud to him.

“Fuck.” He swore, all the anger leaving him in a rush.

“Zack? Are you okay?” Cloud asked, this time concerned. “You don’t look so good.”

Closing his eyes Zack smiled, bitterly.

Sephiroth.

More than aware of what was going on, the man knew so much more than Zack ever expected him to.

His lover could not give him comfort.

He looked into concerned, bright blue eyes of his friend and smiled, truly, easily, probably for the first time in weeks.

“Yeah Cloud, I’m going to be just right. Hop on.” He invited.

With last one concerned look, Cloud climbed on the bike, behind Zack and grabbed firm hold. He was more than familiar with Zack’s breakneck type of driving.

As he left the shadowed garage and sped towards the endless grasslands he thought of days spent in the open, with only sun and the wind, Cloud and the chocobos for company.

Yes, he was going to be okay.

And when he came back, he would have so groveling to do. But that could wait. Seph would understand.

Briefly he touched his friend’s hand, clenched tightly in his jacket. So warm, so compassionate and caring. He was everything that Zack needed right now. Everything Sephiroth believed he could never be.

He could already feel the sun on his skin.

The end.
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