ok. I read through from the prologue until now and my brain has been jumping around like a crazy thing. I think your story is a geat idea. I like the idea of Sam having this kind of power and the way you describe him after the possesion is all kinds of sexy...AND I'M A DEAN GIRL!!!! I liked the fact that the witch seemed to indicate that there is something extra special about Dean that we don't know about and that's got me very curious. There were parts that I thought needed some work. John's journal read more like someone writing a fiction rather than a personal detailed description of their emotions and experiances, and it lacked the maturity of a father and a man. (i wanted to mention this in case you do write any further entries, because i do really like what you're doing and think if you know what others are seeing it can help) You've got yourself some evil sammy action going on even before he gets turned and i wonder about it. The way he seems so darkly cavalier about his lust for Dean and hate for John is disturbing to me. Mostly I think because it seems to go against the nature of the Sam you have presented as an adult. It makes me wonder if that's little hints you are leaving for us, will it be something that gets explained, was it not what John thought it was or maybe what John thought it was but the deadly anger and casual dismissal of right or wrong in what he's been doing part of childhood and something he grew to control and balance and understand.

I like that you don't have one of those sudden, oh sammy wants me well i think I'll go fuck my brother this is so easy kind of things that happens so often. You really let Dean be shocked by it, let him make the decision to sacrifice in order to try and save Sam and then pulled a brilliant idea out of your hat with the lust potion, because that isn't something you can force or fake and it left everything open for you to have the VERY nice sex seem believable and sexy.

I am really looking forward to what you choose to do next with this. There is a pretty big issue I have while reading this, and I went looking in your journal to find out if I was right in my guess. English is your second language isn't it. It seemed the only possibility when I was reading this and the story actually had a lot of great imagery and a good plot and obviously thought out backstory as well as a command of what is to come. But there are a lot of mistakes between present and past tense, phrases said in such a way that I felt like I was hearing someone speak the language who didn't always get exactly why all our weird rules work the way they do. And I'm gonna say right now I'm not trying to insult or flame you. I like this. I wouldn't bother to say a word if I didn't. It's simply something noticable enough and happens frequently enough, that it pulls me from the story and I am editing it in my head. I read you had a beta and I was wondering if your beta is also not an english as first language person. I think, with an extra set of eyes from an american or british or anyone who just knows the language without hesitancy, this story would go from fun read to damn good writing. If you haven't checked them out yet go to spn_betas and ask for someone and tell them exactly what you need. There are a lot of corrections to be made but they are almost all just single words that require tense changes. I hope Ihaven't offended, because I really do love this story and I love the idea and can't wait to see what happens next. Also, regardless of the beta issue, I will definitely keep reading as the chapters come and am willing to wait since you internet connection is iffy. I'd rather edit in my head and get to find out what happens than not read at all. Thank you so much for taking the time to write this and share it with all of us. It's always such fun to find gems like this.