FIC: Weapon of Choice: Prologue
Jul. 2nd, 2006 11:24 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
xantissaTitle: Weapon of Choice
Fandom: Supernatural
Author: xantissa
Summary: A case turning out to be a set up. Sam taken away from him. An enemy he can’t identify. Father that struggles to understand. Dean, alone, fighting to save his brother from power no one can really understand.
Genre: Slash
Pairing: Sam/Dean
Rating: 18+
Warnings: incest, slash, demon possession, violence.
Disclaimer: Supernatural and all it’s characters belong to WB. I do it just for fun, no profit being made from my writing.
Spoilers: Mild for Asylum, Nightmare tiny ones for probably most of the first season.
// - indicate journal entries
Prologue
3:15 in the morning and Dean was awake, jerked out of the much needed sleep by the same thing for the last week.
Sam.
He had a nightmare,
Again.
Probably the same one. One that started after Sam tried to kill him in that damned Asylum. His chest just started to heal after that rock salt shotgun blast. Dean stopped that train of thought. He would not think about it. Would not remember that his little brother not only pulled a gun on him, but also pulled the trigger. Repeatedly. With every intent to kill him. Yeah, he was possessed, but still... Dean didn’t even realize, that subconsciously, he believed that his Sammy, his little brother would never hurt him. Stupid, he knew… But it still didn’t change the feeling of betrayal that had haunted him ever since.
He told Sam that it was okay, that he knew it wasn’t Sam, not really, in that boiler room pointing a gun at his head. Logically, he knew that. This knowledge, however, didn’t stifle that stabbing pain that wracked through him every time that he remembered that moment.
Dean lay still, pretending to be asleep, and listened to his brother’s choked gasps. The bed squeaked, that meant Sam was up, just like every night for the past week and he wouldn’t be going back to sleep anytime soon.
Dean considered getting up himself and trying to comfort his brother, but decided against it. First, he doubted Sam would actually let him and second, he was still feeling betrayed. He’d never known just how deeply Sam detested their lifestyle. So he closed his eyes, pretending not to hear the choked sobs coming from the other side of the room.
Sam didn’t lay down again, but unlike before, Dean could hear him coming closer, approaching Dean almost hesitantly. Carefully, as if unsure of his welcome near his brother. It made something in his chest clench at the thought that Sam didn’t feel safe enough, comfortable enough, loved enough to ask for comfort, for help.
Dean kept his body carefully relaxed, trying to look deeply asleep and waited to see what Sam would do.
For long minutes, he could feel his brother’s eyes on him, and then his bed dipped and the covers were lifted. Instantly, he was transported back in time, back to the time when Sammy was still very little and had nightmares. Even then, Sammy wasn’t good in asking for help. Dean guessed that no one in their family was. When little, his brother used to crawl into Dean’s bed in the middle of the night and plaster himself to his older brother, seeking comfort and warmth. Dean never told him that those nights gave him as much comfort as they did to Sam.
And then, one day, Sam just stopped coming to his bed, Dean missed it, but never actually asked his brother why he stopped.
So now, feeling Sam crawl carefully under the covers behind him, Dean felt something painful and old uncurl and let go inside of him. When he felt Sam’s cold hands on his waist, and his damp face pressing into his neck, Dean felt all the anger leave him. He reached for his brother’s trembling hand and pulled it forward, pressing it into his bandaged chest and keeping it there, making Sam press completely flush against his back. He could feel how badly Sam was shivering, how terrified he was.
“Sammy... it’s okay, it’s okay.” he said gently, wishing words could help.
He could feel wetness on Sam’s cheeks as he pressed his face in the crook of Dean’s arm. His lips moved, Dean could feel it, but it took him a while to understand the whispered words.
“So sorry, I’m so sorry. I’ll never hurt you again. I promise.” Sam repeated those words over and over again, desperately trying to believe them.
Dean only closed his eyes and pulled his little brother that little bit closer.
But you will Sammy, he thought sadly, when you leave me again.
TBC
Fandom: Supernatural
Author: xantissa
Summary: A case turning out to be a set up. Sam taken away from him. An enemy he can’t identify. Father that struggles to understand. Dean, alone, fighting to save his brother from power no one can really understand.
Genre: Slash
Pairing: Sam/Dean
Rating: 18+
Warnings: incest, slash, demon possession, violence.
Disclaimer: Supernatural and all it’s characters belong to WB. I do it just for fun, no profit being made from my writing.
Spoilers: Mild for Asylum, Nightmare tiny ones for probably most of the first season.
// - indicate journal entries
Prologue
3:15 in the morning and Dean was awake, jerked out of the much needed sleep by the same thing for the last week.
Sam.
He had a nightmare,
Again.
Probably the same one. One that started after Sam tried to kill him in that damned Asylum. His chest just started to heal after that rock salt shotgun blast. Dean stopped that train of thought. He would not think about it. Would not remember that his little brother not only pulled a gun on him, but also pulled the trigger. Repeatedly. With every intent to kill him. Yeah, he was possessed, but still... Dean didn’t even realize, that subconsciously, he believed that his Sammy, his little brother would never hurt him. Stupid, he knew… But it still didn’t change the feeling of betrayal that had haunted him ever since.
He told Sam that it was okay, that he knew it wasn’t Sam, not really, in that boiler room pointing a gun at his head. Logically, he knew that. This knowledge, however, didn’t stifle that stabbing pain that wracked through him every time that he remembered that moment.
Dean lay still, pretending to be asleep, and listened to his brother’s choked gasps. The bed squeaked, that meant Sam was up, just like every night for the past week and he wouldn’t be going back to sleep anytime soon.
Dean considered getting up himself and trying to comfort his brother, but decided against it. First, he doubted Sam would actually let him and second, he was still feeling betrayed. He’d never known just how deeply Sam detested their lifestyle. So he closed his eyes, pretending not to hear the choked sobs coming from the other side of the room.
Sam didn’t lay down again, but unlike before, Dean could hear him coming closer, approaching Dean almost hesitantly. Carefully, as if unsure of his welcome near his brother. It made something in his chest clench at the thought that Sam didn’t feel safe enough, comfortable enough, loved enough to ask for comfort, for help.
Dean kept his body carefully relaxed, trying to look deeply asleep and waited to see what Sam would do.
For long minutes, he could feel his brother’s eyes on him, and then his bed dipped and the covers were lifted. Instantly, he was transported back in time, back to the time when Sammy was still very little and had nightmares. Even then, Sammy wasn’t good in asking for help. Dean guessed that no one in their family was. When little, his brother used to crawl into Dean’s bed in the middle of the night and plaster himself to his older brother, seeking comfort and warmth. Dean never told him that those nights gave him as much comfort as they did to Sam.
And then, one day, Sam just stopped coming to his bed, Dean missed it, but never actually asked his brother why he stopped.
So now, feeling Sam crawl carefully under the covers behind him, Dean felt something painful and old uncurl and let go inside of him. When he felt Sam’s cold hands on his waist, and his damp face pressing into his neck, Dean felt all the anger leave him. He reached for his brother’s trembling hand and pulled it forward, pressing it into his bandaged chest and keeping it there, making Sam press completely flush against his back. He could feel how badly Sam was shivering, how terrified he was.
“Sammy... it’s okay, it’s okay.” he said gently, wishing words could help.
He could feel wetness on Sam’s cheeks as he pressed his face in the crook of Dean’s arm. His lips moved, Dean could feel it, but it took him a while to understand the whispered words.
“So sorry, I’m so sorry. I’ll never hurt you again. I promise.” Sam repeated those words over and over again, desperately trying to believe them.
Dean only closed his eyes and pulled his little brother that little bit closer.
But you will Sammy, he thought sadly, when you leave me again.
TBC
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2006-07-02 11:53 pm (UTC)*runs off to read the next part*
no subject
Date: 2008-02-20 02:44 am (UTC)Born 1970, so I'm pretty sure I fall within your age group.
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